Archive for the ‘Comedy and Art’ Category

Dear Survival Journal,

What a week! I’ve been everywhere, and I got there by bike or foot. I often laugh at slobs in cars. If only they could remember how to walk. Vehicles are for lazy people. I’m glad I bike. I have two bicycles operational right now. I get them tuned up every once in awhile, but they are still way cheaper to own than a car.

I was taking my friend’s dog for a walk this morning, when he started eating poop! No dog, you are suppose to go #2, not eat it. Puppies. I was trying to get him to stop, and get back in the house when I stepped in dog crap with my Vibram toe shoes on. The mutt missed a pile. I was dreading this day. I knew I’d step in poo, or crush a giant slug on accident one day. I’m rethinking wearing Vibrams outdoors now. Gross times ten! I will spare you further details, but I was not a happy camper. Luckily I had a change of shoes nearby. Now I’m trying to forget that happened.

I ate so good yesterday. I wasn’t feeling myself, so I made sure to take all my vitamins, and refuel with superfoods. I made two power smoothies with raw whey, raw rice protein, maca, raw chocolate, spinach, blueberries, and vanilla hemp milk. I also trekked to the store for spring water, which I promptly pounded. I had a buzz off all the different superfoods, and vitamins. I would have felt even better if I juiced. Maybe today.

I’ve been hustling so hard, they are about to name a street after me. I’m not rich, but I get money. I’m starting to think rich people are the lower class. They look down on the poor, and use them. I’m so happy to be blue collar, and not some spoiled, weakling that has never earned his kill. I’m on the streets, and in the woods, working on my skills, and my body. Rich people don’t work. They shop. Shop for things that make them smell good, or look better, when they are actually scum. My DNA thanks me for not being pampered. Poor people are much stronger than the rich. If I ever made it big, I’d give my wealth away.

It’s getting so cold out at night! I’m still in a tent. I really don’t care where I sleep anymore. The other night I had to wear clothes, and my jacket, while in my sleeping bag, just to make it through the night. However, it’s kind of fun, and challenging to find a new place to crash every night. When I’m couch surfing, I feel like it’s too easy. Like I’m royalty or something. I don’t know when I will get an apartment again. I could survive an Oregon winter in the wilderness. My home is the Wild Wild West.

More soon. Time to make paper, and turn it into food and silver. It’s a great day to get outside, in the wild, where I belong. Forget technology.

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Survival Bros offers up some quotes for you to think about.

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.
Robert Wagner
There must be a stronger foundation than mere friendship or sexual attraction. Unconditional love, agape love, will not be swayed by time or circumstances.
Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare
According to Wikipedia, Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations. More here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_love

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I finally painted my Mongoose mountain bike flat black. This blog covers how I painted it, and other preparations I’ve done to my End of the World transportation.

First I stripped my bike bare. I took off the back fender/rack, and the seat. I had to remove a LED light attached to my seat post. I also removed a bunch of stickers, and residue. Most came off after using Goof Off, lacquer thinner, and a flat razor blade. Once the surface was clean, I blasted it flat black with Rust-olium Universal all-surface spray paint. It’s an awesome product. You can shoot at any angle. It sticks to metal, plastic, wood, whatever, but costs almost $10 a can.

Next I rattle canned the frame. I did one side, then the other, and finally the bottom. I did two coats, so it took a few hours to paint it all and allow for drying. I painted the wheels and tires quickly also. Then I put it all back together.

To get an even coat I removed the cables, but had a problem getting them back on tight. The guys at Prom Bike Shop in Seaside OR helped adjust them. They know me so it was a free fix. I buy stuff there all the time, and trust them with all my repairs. This is the third time I’ve resurrected this bike, but she is looking good now. Good luck seeing me on this stealth flat black beast.

Painting my bike was easy. The hard part was not painting myself or the driveway. Now I can put some smaller packs on this bike, but I have another bicycle that can haul more. Hopefully I can get a trailer before the Apocalypse happens. This bike needs a light, plastic front fender soon. It will have a first aid kit, and emergency food onboard. There’s a bright light and black bell on the front as well for safety.

I also plan to make a motorized bicycle in the near future. I enjoy designing rat bikes that look like something out of the Mad Max movie. You gotta go flat black. It looks sick.

– Cameron McKirdy

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Trolls are lurking! They are on YouTube, Facebook, and under bridges. These little people are trying to hurt you, and cause stress. Well no more worries because Survival Bros has a game plan for obnoxious trolls.

When a troll tries to lure me into a pointless debate, I ignore it. Trolls don’t know me, they just like to think they do. Dimwitted trolls aren’t producers, they are moochers. They live off others, and think they are somehow better. Trolls need to be put in check. If you see one, call them a troll. We know they are up to no good, and don’t belong in our society.

Another good tactic when dealing with annoying trolls is to just walk away. They can’t keep up with real, useful people. Step away from the drama. Trolls are weak. They break easily, so avoid physical confrontation. You don’t want to pick up any of their diseases, or bad vibes either.

When dealing with trolls online, just know they don’t know you. They can jibber jabber all day, but nobody listens to little people. I block trolls every chance I get. Their feedback and words are worthless, and untrue. Never listen to a troll, just laugh at their blatant ignorance. Block, unfriend, and unfollow trolls ASAP.

Don’t waste time or energy on trolls. When you recognize one, destroy it, or ignore it. They have no place. That’s the problem. Let them creep in the shadows, while free people play. To spot a troll, look for short, uncoordinated people in sports cars, with eyes that never shine. They are only harmful if you get to know them, so just stay away. Trolls are worthless. If you follow these Survival Bros tips you will be troll free, and much happier. Best wishes.

– Cameron McKirdy
Survival Bros President and Founder

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by Cameron McKirdy

Today was glorious. I hosted the 3rd annual Seaside Oregon Eating Championship at Broadway Park for charity. We had both an adult, and kid eating contest featuring Subway footlong sandwiches. History was made.

Broadway park is awesome. It’s changed a lot since I’ve lived in Seaside. We got a new baseball and football field, and a jungle gym for kids to exercise on. Plus, we have a dope skate park. There’s even a basketball court, bathrooms, and an under cover picnic area near the river. It’s the heart of this coastal community.

I love hosting the eating contest each year. I’m a pro eater, so it’s great to watch the local talent develop, and appreciate the sport. It’s a pleasure to host it for charity, and support the Sunset Empire Parks and Recreation Department. This year the kids winner was the first to eat a footlong. One kid was cheating and fake puking his sub in the trash. He ended up with a generous 2nd place title. The adults had to mow 2 footlongs! Hardcore. A local ringer won again this year. Next year I’m putting down the mic and taking the championship.

Eating healthy is essential. Chewing is good too. Even though I host eating contests, proper nutrition is always on my mind. Eating a balanced diet and staying hydrated is key. Please don’t try competitive eating at home. You’ll end up bitting a finger off, or using pets for training food. The lesson here is to have fun, stay active, and eat all the good stuff you can. And support your local parks too! Peace.

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Here’s my video footage of the contest!  Funny stuff.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-_aTVaOLiQ

They are everywhere! There’s billions of berries bursting from the vines right now. Survival Bros challenges YOU to harvest some in your area this summer! What are you waiting for? It’s free food.

I rolled to the Mill Ponds in Seaside, OR with a hommie this morning. We packed in breakfast sandwiches, and found tons of ready-to-eat fruit on the trail. Even more will be ready later this week. I will be back to collect pounds of wild blackberries. They are so sweet! I want to rub them all over my face. I’m going to freeze some for my power smoothies. We collected handfuls today. What a blessing. %^].

– Cameron McKirdy

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I could have sold my soul a long time ago. Instead, I’ve been expressing myself fully, and making all of Earth my home. Having a minimum wage job isn’t going to help humanity or myself. I belong outside, free with the rest of nature to expand.

So I’m living in a tent and couch surfing. There’s nothing wrong with that. I figure it toughens me up. In the outdoors I can test myself, and my gear. Indoors are for fluffy house cats, and domesticated divas watching TV to get their drama fix. The nature of reality isn’t broadcast on TV. The truth is, we are all connected. But it feels like instead of working together, people compete. Compete for girls, money, jobs, cars, and houses. None of that means anything to me. It’s just stuff that can tie you down. I’m endless. You can’t label me. I am as free as the wind. I’ve experienced the highs, the lows, and I’m balanced. I rarely worry. Earth takes good care of me. The authorities are the ones that want to take away your rights and freedoms. No overnight camping they say. I say, that’s what camping is.

Why pay $450 or more per month in rent? That’s crazy. Then you have to commit to an expensive place to sleep. I’d rather find a flat piece of land and make camp. I’m learning important skills like: navigating and reading maps, starting fires, cooking healthy inexpensive meals, and foraging for food. Being homeless gives me an opportunity to be a happy camper with less. I value the small things, like a warm blanket, and friends sharing their survival stories.

The BIG collapse is still coming, but many Americans are already living paycheck to paycheck with little savings. More young people are becoming homeless. They are sleeping in cars with no gas, or crashing on their buddy’s boat for shelter. We need to stop making a big deal out of homelessness, and just help people in need. It’s simple, if you have more, give. I will never be rich because I’d give all my possessions away. I need very little now. Food, water, shelter. To attain those things I hustle, or help people. I don’t think you should have to pay to live. God put me here to do what I want, and to appreciate nature. That’s what I’m going to do. Don’t tell me I can’t sleep on a park bench. Don’t tell me anything. Please just help the less fortunate if you can. The Universe will hook you up. Peace.

P.S. – I’m doing great!

Cameron McKirdy

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Ya caught me with my pants down! I’m blogging while icing my leg. Last week I flew over my handle bars, and landed on lava rocks, biking down the steep McKenzie River Trail. This is my recovery process, with information that could help you heal.

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When I went over my bike, I was wearing a helmet, but not gloves. Stupid. My hands are cut up, and my leg is still swollen and bruised, as pictured. I was covered in dirt, and dripping blood. Before I showered I cleaned my wounds with povidone-iodine antiseptic wipes, and sterilization wipes I typically use to sanitize my hands. Then I iced, but all I had to use was a small ice pack made to chill a sandwich or something else in your lunch. I really needed a large ice pack to go from my knee to my hip.

It’s been 5 days since my bike accident. My leg hurts less now, so I’ve been lightly massaging it. It’s instinctual. Massaging gets blood flowing there, and relaxes battered muscles. I’ve been using the R.I.C.E. method of: rest, ice, compression, elevation. In addition, I poured hydrogen peroxide on my cuts to kill any bacteria. Plus, I have been gently exercising and lightly stretching. I went for a long walk this morning. The only other thing I want to do is put tea tree oil on the surface of my black and blue bruised skin. With more attention and rest, my leg will heal up, and I will stop walking with a slight limp. Be safe out there on your bikes!

When you fall, and get hurt, your will to endure is being tested. You have to get up, dust off, take a breath, and ride on. It’s not easy knowing you can get hurt again, but you have to move forward. I had to fight through the pain, and get my head straight. I couldn’t lose my focus and end up getting injured further. All that mattered was getting to the truck, so I could get to basic first aid supplies, and leftover Hawaiian pizza.

In retrospect, next time I will wear more protective gear, and bring a small First Aid kit. I could have been stranded on the trail for hours with a broken leg. There were only a few people on that path, and I couldn’t get cell phone service. Be smart about the situations you put yourself in. Biking in remote locations should be done with extreme caution. Train hard, rest easy.

– Cameron McKirdy

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(Survival Bros)
We did it. My dad and I drove from Redmond OR into the Mt. Jefferson Wilderness, and backpacked to Pamelia Lake. Here’s what I know.

The hike in was unforgettable. The trail ran along a creek most of the way. We got there late afternoon, but the thick forest sheltered us from the Sun. The trail to the lake is perfect. A little rocky, but easy. There’s campsites all along Pamelia Lake. We scouted around and found flat ground near the water. There weren’t mosquitos earlier, but they are buzzing now. Where’s all the dragonflies to regulate?

I’d take a picture of our loaner two-person tent, but it doesn’t look right. It must be missing some rods. I have to get a one-person tent. How am I supposed to get a good nights rest with an old man snoring in my face?

There’s several water sources within earshot. I’m going to fill up the bottles, and my hydration pack later. My Dad’s been boiling his water, and using an Aquamira filter attached to his hydration pack, courtesy of Survival Bros. I don’t want to wait for my water to cool down, so I’m using Aquamira tablets, or drinking it straight from the source. I packed in aloe vera juice, coconut water, and yerba mate too.

Tomorrow we go hard, and pack light as we trek 16 miles in a big loop. We’ll take Hunt’s Creek Trail up to The Pacific Crest Trail. I’m wearing Nike ACG boots VS my Vibrams, because we will be plowing through some snow fields. That’s where a few people got lost just yesterday. It’s not well marked, and the hiker’s footprints melt. However, we have the map I’m holding, an internal compass, and a good gut feeling.

There’s all sorts of wildlife here. Ducks, snakes, beatles, bears, frogs, and birds. There’s millions of skinny trees reaching. They are so thick, it’s mind boggling. Pamelia Lake is a gem. You’re missing a ferocious sunset, as pictured below. This is one of the nicest lakes I’ve ever stayed at. It’s certainly the most private. Minus the bugs. My friends.

My advice, make sure to travel in front of people with gas! My dad has been blowing up the trail. Sorry, butt payback is gonna be brutal. Really, you can’t avoid my dad’s gas. The wind are always changing.

The forecast for tomorrow calls for more odor. We just split a freeze dried Mountain House Beef Stew. Dad described it as kinda chewy. True. Still, nothing satisfies like a warm meal. In the morning we carb load on granola and oatmeal.

There’s an ounce of daylight left. My bed is made. I like my new regular sized, Kelty self-inflating sleeping mat. It’s good when your in a small area for a short time. I can’t wait to take my boots off and lay down. We just found out were NOT in a designated camping site, but it’s too late to move tonight. Maybe we’ll relocate tomorrow.

(Day 2 on lake)
We just got back to camp on Pamelia Lake. We left around 8:30 am, and it’s now almost 6:30. What a day! Both my Dad and I set personal bests, going 16 plus miles on foot. I set the pace. When we took breaks I stretched, so I don’t think I will be very sore in the morning.

Approximately 300 people backpack the full Pacific Crest Trail each year. Most brave enough to attempt the feat give up. This hike is no joke. We did just a small part, but I got a great sense of what it would take to go all the way. We met three hikers set on going the distance. They were friendly, and took the time to answer my dads million questions, and compare maps. Props to anyone hard enough to do the full PCT, from Mexico to Canada. It takes months, not counting all the preparations.

To get from the lake to PCT we took Hunt’s Creek Trail. It was overgrown, and wet. The climb was intense, but we took breaks to grub, fill up our water containers, and explore. I ate mostly fruit bars, nuts, seeds, and turkey jerky. Thank God for Starbucks instant coffee.

I took lots of great photos today. We passed maybe a dozen lakes around Mount Jefferson. On the way I got caught in countless spider webs. I ended up with a fair amount of bites, maybe 25, but I didn’t have to resort to Deet thankfully. I’d defiantly hike the PCT again. I can’t wait to show the bros this spot. I want to party up where all the crystal clear lakes are. Nobody’s around! There is still patches of snow in some areas, but I used it to cool off. I kept rubbing the icy snow into my hair, and even laid on it once. Dad thought I was crazy. Duh.

I just jumped in Pamelia Lake for the first time! Refreshing. It’s so cold though. I would have skinny dipped, but we have a neighbor tonight. Now I’m laying down after making another Mountain House meal. This time I toured Italy, and scarfed lasagna with meat. It was way better than the beef stew.

Dad wants to build a fire tonight. Sounds like a lot of work, and it’s still warm outside, but it’s been a few months since I’ve built one. I’m game. We may hike more of the PCT tomorrow, but this is our last night on the lake. I’m also planning on mountain biking the nearby McKenzie River Trail. It’s one of Oregon’s finest. Another update from our road trip coming pronto! Peace peeps.

Cameron McKirdy

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(Survival Bros) It may be too late for you. Real-life zombies are everywhere man. This blog will help YOU figure out if you’re undead, or already on your way to becoming a zombie!!!

You’ve seen them on the streets. People with no spatial awareness. They’re in their own world. You could run butt naked in the streets and they wouldn’t notice, or ask for your number. Don’t take it personal my friend. They are self-absorbed puppets of the system. Consumers. Not producers. These zombies don’t contribute a damn thing to society. Here’s 10 warning signs that may suggest you’re already living dead.

1. You have hundreds of friends online, but nobody to actually get your back. Smile more?
2. You watch hours of TV every day, and repeat what you’ve seen and heard to people, even if it’s irrelevant in your life.
3. You drink water with fluoride added.
4. You play video games all the time. You like to simulate death and destruction. Survival Bros approves Tetris for all ages.
5. You live off others, or the government. You are not self-sufficient.
6. You believe what authorities say, jump through all the B.S. hoops, and root for the sports team with all your heart.
7. Every line you use is from some dumb Hollywood movie. You’re great at impressions. Do you.
8. You’re addicted to your phone. It’s become a distraction, deluding reality.
9. You eat fast food often, and buy GMO groceries over organic produce. Plus, you don’t read the back of the packaging.
10. You look and sound like everyone else. You’re good at fitting in.

Take back the power in your life by examining your choices. Sometimes we give away too much of our personal power to uphold the status quo. Maybe you are worried about what your friends or family will think of you if you make major life changes. Don’t worry!

You will find yourself. Avoid becoming a zombie by learning their pitfalls. Stay in the moment, and focus your awareness on the positive.

Wake up! The World is changing fast. Don’t get left behind. Stay up on alternative news and current events. Work with others in your community towards building a brighter future. Humanity is counting on you to fill your mind with goodness. Peace and love bros and sisters.

– Cameron McKirdy

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Photo source