Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

McKenzie River Rafting and Mountain Biking Trip in Oregon

Posted: July 2, 2013 in Emergencies, Everyday Carry (EDC), HD Videos, Parks
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Produced by Cameron McKirdy

My dad and I just got back to the Oregon Coast, after a 4 day trip playing on the McKenzie River and the trail. First we geared up, and hit the rapids with the Oregon Whitewater Association. A group of 70 extreme outdoor enthusiasts floated 14 miles down the river. The water was brutally cold, at only 47 degrees. I fell off our cataraft for the first time after we smashed into a log along the bank. I didn’t have time to be fearful. I was just trying to catch my breath from the shock of the water, and keep my legs up as I floated down. Of course, I had a class 3 life jacket on. I swam to the back of the boat, but didn’t like being where I couldn’t see the rocks ahead of me. Plus, I didn’t want to get trapped under the massive military grade raft. So I separated from the craft, and tried to swim to shore, but the water was moving too fast, and nobody there could help me. I swam to the side of the raft, and was barely able to climb back on. I had to quickly jump off the river bottom to boost myself up. I was fatigued, and just wanted to sit down and assess my injuries. I hit my knee on a rock, and bloodied by shin up. I was only in the river for a few minutes, but it wouldn’t have been long before my body started shutting down, and hypothermia set in. It was intense.

I had my iPhone 4S in my pocket with a LifeProof case on when I went overboard. It worked. No water got in thankfully. In my other pocket I was carrying the new Coast DX335 rescue knife. It stayed clipped on, but luckily I didn’t have to use it. You’d be surprised how many people die on the river getting tangled in ropes. Below is a funny clip I took with the LifeProof case on my cell. It took great video, and you can hear my dad yelling at me to put it away. He thought it was going to get splashed, or fall in as we hit the drop in the rapids. Also below is an HD video review of the Coast Products knife. I will update this blog as I get media online. I used my GoPro Hero 3 Black camera to record my treacherous mountain bike ride down the McKenzie River Trail. That will be up soon. Thanks for visiting Survival Bros. Follow us on Twitter, Youtube, and join the community on Facebook. Peace.

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Saving Money One Bite At A Time

Posted: January 5, 2013 in Adventures, Comedy and Art, Frugality, Health & Nutrition, SB Tips
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The McKirdy Bros Professionally Eating Ribs

The McKirdy Bros Professionally Eating Ribs

Times are tough, for many people this isn’t the first time they’ve struggled to make ends meet. I’d like to humbly share a time in my life my frugality took a dark but interesting turn. It was 2008 and I was a student at the University of Oregon. My major was international studies and so, in a way I was honing my skills for a life of financial hardship. I was “in between jobs” as they say, and while I had saved enough money to still afford rent, my savings were diminishing fast. Food was expensive. I had contributed to society, paid my taxes for long enough for me to feel less guilty about what I was scheming. I looked to the homeless for inspiration and I found none. “They are doing it all wrong” I said to myself.
 
I had long been a fan of free food so I started brainstorming of all the past places food was a plenty. Buffets. Breakfast buffets. Continental breakfasts. The Holiday Inn Express was closest to my house, so that’s where I first walked in as confidently as possible, to a hotel I’ve never been in before. Oatmeal. Apples. Oranges. Muffins. It was a beautiful display of food not meant for me, which made it even more exciting. I had my backpack on me because my Spanish class was in a half an hour. I ate what I could, and opened my bag to shove a bundle of bananas in. I took an extra muffin for my friend because he was broke like me, and as it turns out I’m very generous with other people’s food. This went on for a while. So long that I started to rank the hotels. Phoenix Inn had apple juice and hot chocolate so I gave it a B+. But breakfast was only one meal out of the suggested 3 a day. I had started noticing official University of Oregon food golf carts zipping around campus. I was lucky enough to have experienced this before at catered public events and so I knew they had the goods. One day in between classes I saw a green cart zip right in front of me and if it were possible I would have jumped right on the back and followed it to wherever it was going, but I had to be more inconspicuous. So, I ran. Calmly. Like I was late for a class across campus. Finally the cart stopped in front of the law building. Taking from future lawyers was alright by me. I wasn’t stealing. I was taking something being offered just not to me. Oh was it delicious. The pasta was seasoned and covered in feta cheese and oil. I was in heaven. The breakfasts and occasional catered meal kept me for only so long. I did some grocery shopping rather often to buy my bulk items of hummus, rice, beans and oats. Cheap nutritious foods. I was at Whole Foods when I noticed a bread man checking the dates of each loaf and then collecting the ones that were about to expire. I striked up a  conversation and he told me that he could give me some just not in the store. He told me to meet him out back. A couple of minutes later he was noticeably more casual with me. He didn’t care about the bread. So I took all that I could. Six loaves of organic whole wheat bread. It only lasted me a few days. 
 
Turns out he gave the rest to the Eugene food pantry, but they always had plenty of bread from other donations besides his company. I looked into the pantry and I qualified. I rode my bike to the pantry, and again only had my backpack. They told me to go outside and they would bring me my food allowance. They rolled out a two level push cart full of canned foods, cold milk and other dairy products including a very cheap pint of chocolate ice cream. I could only carry about a quarter of what I was alloted. I wouldn’t have eaten most of the other stuff any way because it was full of MSG, salt and I knew it would taste awful. 

Eventually I was able to get a job and save up some money so I didn’t have to go to all the trouble, but I had a good run. Without all the ways I found to get free food I am sure I would have started charging groceries on a credit card. I hope I don’t have to do it again, but it is nice to know that sometimes beggars can be choosers if you’re smart enough. I am very thankful for each and every free bite to this day. 

Andrew McKirdy

Andrew Scoring Free Organic Bread

Andrew Scoring Free Organic Bread

Babysitting Survival Guide Blog By Cameron McKirdy

Posted: October 17, 2012 in Adventures, Comedy and Art, SB Tips, Survival Bros Challenges
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Nothing is more precious than a child. That’s why babysitting is so important. I recently watched three girls. They tried to break me. I regulated. Everybody came out better.

First off, babies are out of control. They get into everything. You really can’t babyproof a house, because they can climb anything like King Kong. They do as much damage too. The two younger girls I watched are 18 months, and three years old! They usually don’t play together, so I’m always running down one of them. I’ve never drank so much coffee, and been so exhausted.

Kids are tornados. I’ve been blasted with Cheerios, toys, and gale force sneezes. The baby is always squirting something out. She is almost potty trained though. Her sisters are helping her figure it out. And for the record, I’m not afraid to change a diaper. Every prepper should check that off their to do list!

I’ve found rugrats typically need activities like drawing or reading. This stimulates their mind, and they will make less messes for you. It’s also good to tell them NO! And let them cry. I can’t cater to everything they want. When kids are fussy, they seem just frustrated or tired. Naps are your best friend.

It’s also crucial to teach them while playing. They don’t even know they’re learning while playing games. We go over things like colors, names, and numbers. The squirts love to learn words and repeat what I say. They are sponges. That’s why they can only watch so much TV. I’d rather they play then zone out.

Finally, but maybe most important, it’s key to make the kids feel safe and nurtured. I’m always smiling around them, and ready to play. The infant always says, “tickle me!” She is so funny. The children play all types of games naturally. Being around them has made me more childlike, which is great. SURVIVAL BROS invites you to inspire a kid. Spend time around them. You can learn from them as you teach.

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Baby yoga time with Cam. We also did push-ups.

Dear Survival Journal By Cameron McKirdy

Posted: September 13, 2012 in Adventures, Comedy and Art, Health & Nutrition, Parks, Precious Metals, Product Reviews, SB Tips, Sports, Survival Bros Challenges, Uncategorized
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Dear Survival Journal,

What a week! I’ve been everywhere, and I got there by bike or foot. I often laugh at slobs in cars. If only they could remember how to walk. Vehicles are for lazy people. I’m glad I bike. I have two bicycles operational right now. I get them tuned up every once in awhile, but they are still way cheaper to own than a car.

I was taking my friend’s dog for a walk this morning, when he started eating poop! No dog, you are suppose to go #2, not eat it. Puppies. I was trying to get him to stop, and get back in the house when I stepped in dog crap with my Vibram toe shoes on. The mutt missed a pile. I was dreading this day. I knew I’d step in poo, or crush a giant slug on accident one day. I’m rethinking wearing Vibrams outdoors now. Gross times ten! I will spare you further details, but I was not a happy camper. Luckily I had a change of shoes nearby. Now I’m trying to forget that happened.

I ate so good yesterday. I wasn’t feeling myself, so I made sure to take all my vitamins, and refuel with superfoods. I made two power smoothies with raw whey, raw rice protein, maca, raw chocolate, spinach, blueberries, and vanilla hemp milk. I also trekked to the store for spring water, which I promptly pounded. I had a buzz off all the different superfoods, and vitamins. I would have felt even better if I juiced. Maybe today.

I’ve been hustling so hard, they are about to name a street after me. I’m not rich, but I get money. I’m starting to think rich people are the lower class. They look down on the poor, and use them. I’m so happy to be blue collar, and not some spoiled, weakling that has never earned his kill. I’m on the streets, and in the woods, working on my skills, and my body. Rich people don’t work. They shop. Shop for things that make them smell good, or look better, when they are actually scum. My DNA thanks me for not being pampered. Poor people are much stronger than the rich. If I ever made it big, I’d give my wealth away.

It’s getting so cold out at night! I’m still in a tent. I really don’t care where I sleep anymore. The other night I had to wear clothes, and my jacket, while in my sleeping bag, just to make it through the night. However, it’s kind of fun, and challenging to find a new place to crash every night. When I’m couch surfing, I feel like it’s too easy. Like I’m royalty or something. I don’t know when I will get an apartment again. I could survive an Oregon winter in the wilderness. My home is the Wild Wild West.

More soon. Time to make paper, and turn it into food and silver. It’s a great day to get outside, in the wild, where I belong. Forget technology.

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Hosting a Healthy Competitive Eating Contest for Charity

Posted: August 19, 2012 in Adventures, Comedy and Art, Health & Nutrition, Parks, Survival Bros Challenges
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by Cameron McKirdy

Today was glorious. I hosted the 3rd annual Seaside Oregon Eating Championship at Broadway Park for charity. We had both an adult, and kid eating contest featuring Subway footlong sandwiches. History was made.

Broadway park is awesome. It’s changed a lot since I’ve lived in Seaside. We got a new baseball and football field, and a jungle gym for kids to exercise on. Plus, we have a dope skate park. There’s even a basketball court, bathrooms, and an under cover picnic area near the river. It’s the heart of this coastal community.

I love hosting the eating contest each year. I’m a pro eater, so it’s great to watch the local talent develop, and appreciate the sport. It’s a pleasure to host it for charity, and support the Sunset Empire Parks and Recreation Department. This year the kids winner was the first to eat a footlong. One kid was cheating and fake puking his sub in the trash. He ended up with a generous 2nd place title. The adults had to mow 2 footlongs! Hardcore. A local ringer won again this year. Next year I’m putting down the mic and taking the championship.

Eating healthy is essential. Chewing is good too. Even though I host eating contests, proper nutrition is always on my mind. Eating a balanced diet and staying hydrated is key. Please don’t try competitive eating at home. You’ll end up bitting a finger off, or using pets for training food. The lesson here is to have fun, stay active, and eat all the good stuff you can. And support your local parks too! Peace.

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Are YOU a Brain Dead Zombie in The Apocalypse??

Posted: July 26, 2012 in Comedy and Art
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(Survival Bros) It may be too late for you. Real-life zombies are everywhere man. This blog will help YOU figure out if you’re undead, or already on your way to becoming a zombie!!!

You’ve seen them on the streets. People with no spatial awareness. They’re in their own world. You could run butt naked in the streets and they wouldn’t notice, or ask for your number. Don’t take it personal my friend. They are self-absorbed puppets of the system. Consumers. Not producers. These zombies don’t contribute a damn thing to society. Here’s 10 warning signs that may suggest you’re already living dead.

1. You have hundreds of friends online, but nobody to actually get your back. Smile more?
2. You watch hours of TV every day, and repeat what you’ve seen and heard to people, even if it’s irrelevant in your life.
3. You drink water with fluoride added.
4. You play video games all the time. You like to simulate death and destruction. Survival Bros approves Tetris for all ages.
5. You live off others, or the government. You are not self-sufficient.
6. You believe what authorities say, jump through all the B.S. hoops, and root for the sports team with all your heart.
7. Every line you use is from some dumb Hollywood movie. You’re great at impressions. Do you.
8. You’re addicted to your phone. It’s become a distraction, deluding reality.
9. You eat fast food often, and buy GMO groceries over organic produce. Plus, you don’t read the back of the packaging.
10. You look and sound like everyone else. You’re good at fitting in.

Take back the power in your life by examining your choices. Sometimes we give away too much of our personal power to uphold the status quo. Maybe you are worried about what your friends or family will think of you if you make major life changes. Don’t worry!

You will find yourself. Avoid becoming a zombie by learning their pitfalls. Stay in the moment, and focus your awareness on the positive.

Wake up! The World is changing fast. Don’t get left behind. Stay up on alternative news and current events. Work with others in your community towards building a brighter future. Humanity is counting on you to fill your mind with goodness. Peace and love bros and sisters.

– Cameron McKirdy

Patriotic Stand Up Comedian Bill Hicks Quotes

Posted: July 18, 2012 in Comedy and Art, Uncategorized
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What does entertainer Bill Hicks have to do with surviving? Everything. Survival and comedy is about observation and adaptation. You have to think for yourself, and question authority. Bill embodied awareness, and made light of the darkness. In short, Hicks made the world a better place. Learn from him. We must survive AND thrive in the nightmare of 1984. Survival Bros will use Art and comedy to do both. Peace and love. – Cameron McKirdy

Patriotic Stand Up Comedian Bill Hicks

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
 
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
 
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
 
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.– Bill Hicks

 
Discover more about Bill at www.billhicks.com
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